take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
