what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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