I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
His nipple licking is glorious
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