Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
