I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
