Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
this just has baby written all over it
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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