I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
