I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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