as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
