Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
