mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i now understand why vodka
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
