As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
