Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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