I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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