How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
