Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
