Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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