I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
