what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
