I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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