I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i think i have herpe
just one?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
