He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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