We won't sleep together?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
