i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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