he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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