with your own penis?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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