well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
