don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
