he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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