seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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