You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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