But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
