I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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