he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
