I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
