I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
