Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
