I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
