so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
