If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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