Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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