I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We talked him into tasing himself.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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