where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
