Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
