I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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