I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
