We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
one might say we're banned from that church
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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