Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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