Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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