Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
