How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
