Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
